Tuesday, March 18, 2014

You're Still Here Even Though You're Not





Katy, K's mom, died four years ago. Today is the date and it has come by as it relentlessly does every year and will come every year in the future. Dates... they become the markers of how long the precious people in your life have been gone.

Yesterday was K's dad's birthday - the first one without dad himself. It was hard to get through and we tried not to be too melancholy. When the dates are back to back it gets even harder maybe because the memories overwhelm you and the holes seem to huge to fill. But they do fill. Slowly but surely. A filled hole doesn't mean that someone is forgotten, it just means that the memories are still sharp but the pain is a little less severe.

As I look at my life with K I see them both so strongly woven into the mundane actions of our daily lives. The enamel saucepan that Katy once used, the dinner set they bought together in Dubai, the dining table dad brought over himself from Lonavala, the towel with Katy's name embroidered on it, the books she tried out recipes from, the coloured glass bottles I found under their bed, the painted bowl that's been in the family that dad gave K, Katy's dressing table that she happily gave me, the praise that dad lavished on my cooking, the chocolates we bought for him because they were his favourite,the plants on the window sill that dad admired, the mutton dad bought for me all the way from Lonavala, the wonderful man that K is because they made him so...

Katy and Feroze...You're not here but you still are. You will always be.



7 comments:

Finla said...

Hugs to you both. I agree what you have written A filled hole doesn't mean that someone is forgotten, it just means that the memories are still sharp but the pain is a little less severe.
But there are times when I miss my mom and Hans mom so much. Hans and I were just talking about it yesterday. And he was telling we should be thankfull that these wonderful people were part of our lofe and that we have so much good memeoried about them.

Saee Koranne-Khandekar said...

<3 I will always wonder why I never got to meet Mrs. Dalal. And yet, I feel like I know her through her books.

Rhea Mitra Dalal said...

truly Finla... I just feel grateful that they were there for as long as they were. I don't measure it in terms of years and months, just as a phase of my life I will always be grateful for. :)

Anamitra said...

God be with you and your family. Please extend our wishes to Kurush.

Bombay-Bruxelles said...

Indeed, be blessed... for the great people you had in your life... It's so inspiring to have such persons who shape our mind for us to be what we are :-)

Lisa Teiger said...

I first met you (and then K) via a post you made about Katy soon after she passed. I felt an immediate connection - beautifully written - and from the heart. Have you ever considered writing a cookbook that incorporated all the family recipes including hers, K's and yours?

vinaya said...

Hey Rhea, chanced upon your blog for the first time, and it really touched my heart ! all the best !!